At MM Training and Consulting, our expertise is foundational training for horse and rider. In addition to our comprehensive riding/training program, I also believe that we offer our clients a unique gift. This gift is using the concept of horse training logic to solve people problems. Many may think this type of problem solving is just too simple for complicated people problems, but I’m convinced that many people problems are perceived to be much more difficult than they really are.
As for myself, the horse trainer side of my brain gives me more clarity; it helps me get the garbage out of the way. To me, garbage is unnecessary emotion and detail, all of which we never need to be an effective horse trainer. Effective horse trainers don’t consider how they feel about a certain problem with the horse. They are only concerned about what the horse needs from them to create the desired behavior that they want from the horse. Period!
I’ve asked myself many times why I even started using horse training concepts to help me make sense of people problems. I’ve wondered if it’s because I grew up with horses and have worked with them my whole life. Maybe it’s because I have spent more time with horses than with people. I know I’m a visual learner, so maybe my work with the horse just gives me a word picture to draw from. Or maybe it’s a combination of all three aspects. The only thing I know for sure is that horse training requires relationship skills, and horse training logic helps make mine and others’ relationship problems seem much simpler.
For example, what if we looked at our people problems by using the MM Training concept of “Trust and Respect?” What if when a people problem arose, we asked ourselves if the person lacked trust in us or lacked respect for us? Then we would adjust our response accordingly. What if we all strived to be more self aware of our personalities and what those personalities brings out in others?
Because I have the Red Sorrel personality, I can assume most of the time my problems with horses and people will be a trust problem. This isn’t because I am untrustworthy, but because my personality, without even trying, can create fear and uncertainty in others. I certainly do not have this perfected, but since I am aware of what my personality causes in horses and in people, I have tried to make some changes. And isn’t that like a good horse trainer? To bring out the best in the horse, we don’t just expect the horse to adjust to our personality, we have to adjust to the horse’s personality.
How about the concept of the “Caught Ya” principle and the “Reward Ritual?” What if we consciously looked for what people do right instead of what they do wrong? Personally, I like to think that I have high standards. But to others, that sometimes looks like I’m being critical. When I consciously look for what others are doing right, it makes me happier, and I know that it makes them happier. In horse training, we reward the “try.” We reward the step in the right direction. We don’t wait for the horse to perfectly perform the maneuver and then reward it. What if we did that in our personal lives? We could reward the effort, and when that was consistent, then we could start rewarding the added effort.
What if we always kept in mind the horse training concept of “it gets ugly before it gets pretty?” I heard from a psychologist one time that the same thing happens when we are trying to create positive change in our children. She said that most parents quit right before the change is about to happen because the problem started looking worse to them. We understand that concept with our horses. We know we can be doing everything right, but we have to stay persistent and consistent and believe the horse is eventually going to learn it. When it gets ugly, a good horse trainer stays very unemotional. We know for sure that added emotion will add to the problem. What if we knew that with our children? What if we remained calm during emotional chaos with our children? Personally, I have had my moments of doing this. It really is so much more powerful than creating more tension and chaos with added emotion.
Here at MM Training and Consulting, we believe horse training logic can be a great tool for managing our people problems. It’s an awesome conversation when we have others that will join in on this sort of communication with us. We really start feeding off one another, and to me, it seems like we go to a higher level of communication.
If you feel you don’t have enough horse knowledge to use horse training logic to aid in your people relationships, please join us for our 3-D Mini Clinics in the spring. This concept will be a focus in all of our clinics this year. As for our current clients, I know many of you already use this concept to help make sense of your people problems. We would love to hear from you. Email us at mmoore_training@hotmail.com . Your name will go into a drawing for a free lesson, and who knows, maybe you’ll see your story published some day!