Enhancing Life’s Relationships Through the Color Tool

The barn was chilly and the lighting dim. Small puffs of dust rose up from the horse’s hooves as my friend, Janie, led the gelding around the indoor arena. The owner of the horse and I watched from the sidelines as the pair went through a leading exercise. Apparently, the horse did not have a lot of ground training. He wasn’t jumpy, nervous or excited; he was simply disrespectful. The gelding stepped into Janie’s space and ignored her signals to move away. Janie led the horse in my direction, and they came to an undisciplined stop, the horse lagging behind.

“He’s awfully red sorrel,” Janie said, glancing at me while keeping the horse in her vision.

“Actually, I believe he’s gray,” I replied.

Curiosity got the better of the owner. “He’s registered as a bay,” she said, showing some concern that we were unable to recognize the color of the horse. The owner was correct. The weak fluorescent lighting glistened off the gelding’s bay coat.

“We were talking about the ‘inside’ color of your horse; the color of his personality. It helps us determine if he will make a good match for my friend. My friend is looking for a laid-back, easy-going horse. We call that kind of personality ‘gray’,” I explained. I didn’t add that the downside to gray horses was exactly the kind of behaviors this gelding was exhibiting—laziness and a tendency toward disrespect.

As Janie and I drove away from the barn, we discussed the pros and cons of the horse. She thought that the gelding must be red sorrel because of the disrespectful attitude he had shown. We talked about the differences in red sorrel and gray personalities, and Janie came up with a parallel from her experience as a sixth grade teacher.

“So, it’s just like the difference between Chad and Mike, two boys in my class room. Chad is generally agreeable, but if I try to push him beyond his comfort level, he will quit trying. Chad can be incredibly stubborn if he thinks he can’t do some thing. I have to show strong leadership with Chad and let him know I have high expectations for him and that he has my support,” she said.

I nodded my head. “Just like the gelding, Chad needs that strong leadership.”

Janie continued, “It’s hard for me to read Chad. I can’t tell if he’s afraid of failure, being lazy or being stubborn.”

“Grays tend to be hard to read, and that’s true of horses and humans,” I agreed. “It’s often very hard to tell if a gray horse is fearful. Its fear often looks like stubbornness. A gray horse might be very afraid of loading in a trailer but in stead of snorting, jumping around and shying, he might just plant his feet and refuse to move. It’s only when you make an issue of it and push him that the gray horse explodes and shows emotion.”

“Hmmm, I never thought about using the horse colors with people, but what you’re saying makes sense. Tell me how you would motivate a gray horse, and maybe I can apply similar principles to motivate Chad,” Janie said.

“To improve the performance of a gray horse, you give it stress followed by recovery time. Chad will need you to increase your expectations and hold him accountable. But remember, grays are motivated by peace, so their reward is not just praise but also private time and autonomy. Maybe you could arrange for Chad to do some independent study as a reward,” I suggested.

Janie looked thoughtful. “That’s an idea. Mike, another boy in my class, has a red sorrel personality. Mike is very smart and athletic, but he is likely to challenge everything and anything I say. You always have to be on your toes with Mike because he can lead the rest of the class room down the wrong path so quickly. Mike’s very talented and a good student, but he takes a lot of my energy just to keep him occupied in a positive way,” she explained.

“Red sorrels tend to be leaders with strong opinions. It sounds like you’re doing the right thing by keeping him channeled in a positive way. Putting that work ethic and leadership to work for you instead of against you makes sense. Set firm but fair boundaries and high but realistic expectations. Red sorrels have an amazing ability to perform and meet goals. But, get into a fight with him and you’ll lose every time. I’ve had that happen with a red sorrel horse. Red sorrels want boundaries, but the boundaries have to be strong, consistent and fair. If you’re unfair to a red sorrel, it will fight back.”

Janie nodded. “I can see opportunities to apply the colors to other kids in my class. For instance, I think Jimmy must be a palomino. He’s always pulling something, but he’s so funny that sometimes it’s hard for me to discipline him. He’s very bright and well…just plain likeable. However, he does tend to draw the class off track and make them laugh at inappropriate times. I know he’s smart, but he doesn’t get very good grades. He has a short attention span and doesn’t get things done on time. He’s also disorganized. He has a hard time getting the homework turned in that he does complete.”

“That sounds like a palomino,” I re plied. “Palomino horses are likeable too, and very charismatic, but they can be a challenge. They’re always into something, and they lack focus and work ethic. In order to get them to perform, you have to provide them with structure and discipline. That doesn’t mean drill them continually. It means focusing on specific parts of a maneuver until you see improvement and then letting them do something else. It also means you have to let them have plenty of play and free time. My suggestion for motivating Jimmy is to let him move around in the classroom whenever possible. Make sure that the majority of his day is structured so he knows what’s coming next, but create variety in the activities within the structure of the day. Help him learn to focus in short bursts, and allow him to change activities when he’s done something well. Don’t take away his recess time as a punishment. That would be like locking a palomino horse in a stall with no turn out time. Pretty soon the horse would be climbing the walls, and that’s what Jimmy will do, too.”

“Wow, I think I’ve been approaching him all wrong. The busier Jimmy gets, the more I try to control his behavior. It sounds like a better idea would be to give him an opportunity to get rid of some energy,” Janie said.

“Give it a try,” I replied. “It doesn’t surprise me that your first reaction is to try to control him. That’s natural for your blue roan personality. Jimmy can really benefit from your structure and focus if you will work with his need for creativity and his boundless energy.”

“I know I have a blue roan personality, and I think I get along with other blue roans very well, but tell me what you’ve learned from working with blue roan horses,” Janie asked.

“You know that blue roan horses are motivated by relationships. So are blue roan people. Acknowledging and rewarding their effort is important to keep blue roans motivated. You must be very fair with blue roans, especially when you discipline them. If they perceive that you have been unfair, or if you hurt their feelings, they will hold a grudge. If a blue roan horse thinks it has been abused, it will become defensive. Blue roan horses that have been mistreated are often misread as red sorrels because they will fight back. If trainers treat the blue roan horse like they would a red sorrel horse, it compounds the problem, as the blue roan horse will see that as further abuse. It can be a downward spiral. The important thing is to find a place where you can reward a blue roan horse. Give a blue roan some grace when they make a mistake. Take your time and develop your relationship with a blue roan, and you can turn things around. The same is true with blue roan people. If they believe you have mistreated them, they will hold it against you. Develop a trusting, forgiving relationship with them, and they will work with you in incredible ways,” I said.

Janie looked at me. “You know, it’s wonderful how much you can learn about people through studying horse behavior and personalities. I think I will be able to recognize human personalities and motivations much easier by applying what I know about the horse colors. Just think, this whole conversation started as a horse shopping trip. I guess that means we should go horse shopping more often!”