The Calm After the Storm

We do love spring!  The weather warms up, the days get longer and horses come back into people’s focus.  There are colts to be started, older horses to be tuned up, clinics and lessons to be given and summer shows to prepare for.  It’s an exciting time, full of hope and promise of the future and illustrated by the greening of the grass and the shedding of winter coats.  The wonder of new life, seen in the bunnies, chicks, foals, and other young critters, is celebrated. We celebrate the most important time of spring, Easter, which is the gift of Christ’s freely given life, his burial and triumphant resurrection, by which we have new and abundant life.  

Every spring we give a ground clinic in which participants spend two focused, intense days developing a real relationship with their horse.  After a long winter, it is a chance for horse and rider to either reconnect, or maybe connect for the first time, and emphasizes a healthy balance of trust and respect, optimal stress, recovery and reward and safety.  Almost always there is a horse or two who have not been out and about much and are pretty worried, or downright scared, of the new place, noises, other horses, people, the lunch table, etc.  They are disconnected, frightened, can’t relax, can’t focus, and can be dangerous.  Their demeanor is the opposite of calm and peaceful.  They have not connected with and given their trust and respect over to their handler.  They have an “every horse for himself” attitude.  If pushed they may become aggressive in their behavior and run into their handler or may shy over the top of someone. 

Does this sound familiar?  It does to me, and not just in terms of horses.  I see people act like that, too.  Disconnected, tense, unfocused, frightened, aggressive, selfish – all of us know, sometimes live with, and may work with these people everyday.  Sometimes we are these people, even when we don’t mean to be.  There are folks who run over their spouse, children, and employees in their desire to protect themselves.  Some do not seem to have any sense of peace but choose to live in chaos, and to spread their chaos abundantly.  They are no fun to be around.  Being with them is like being caught in a violent storm on the surface of the water.  You get tossed about, emotionally and mentally bruised and battered, overwhelmed and scared.  Marcia and I each have our own stories of being caught in the “storms” of our life.  Sometimes we have been the creators of a storm in someone else’s life.  Whether you are the one living in a storm or the one causing the storm, there is hope.  You don’t have to live that way. Peace is available to you.  How do you find it?  How do you survive and thrive after a storm?

Whether you are working through a “storm” with a horse or in a personal relationship, the answer is very much the same.  The secret is in building a relationship built on real and true connection.  I’m not suggesting you develop a relationship with a person who is showing these scary characteristics.  Rather, I’m suggesting you develop a deep relationship with Jesus Christ who can help you weather the storm that exists. In John 14:27 Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  With Jesus, all of us can have peace. 

Too often our stress and lack of peace is tied up in our circumstances.  We may be struggling in a relationship, hurting financially, too busy, or any other number of things.  But these situations are not the cause of our stress.  Stress is caused by our reaction to these circumstances.  We react to what is happening around us in a way that causes us to lose our peace. We work hard trying to get rid of, or “manage”, stressful situations.  Instead, we need to learn to work hard at embracing peace.  Spend time reading the bible, praying, asking, listening, and heeding the counsel of wise people. The bible tells us that God gives us grace for each day that we live.  This means that He gives us what we need, in order to do what we need to do, and He gives it abundantly.   

Let’s look at what we can learn about this from the horse.  Sometimes we end up in chaotic circumstances with horses.  Go to a show and try warming up in the warm up pen.  Go anywhere new and different with lots of other animals and people.  Ride in a parade. Run into mountain bikers on a trail ride.  The crazy situations that pop up are endless.  How can we avoid having our horse act like the disconnected, frightened, scary animal described earlier?  Develop a true, deep, connected relationship with your horse over time.  Teach them a balance of trust and respect. Help them learn to connect by being firm, fair, and consistent.  Give them healthy stress and balance stress with recovery time.  Reward the try you see in your horse.  Teach them a cue to relax (we use breathing).  Above all, practice maintaining your calm and consistent demeanor when things around you are crazy.  Accomplishing these things takes desire, time, and consistency.  Jeremiah 12:5 says, “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses?  If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?”   Get your relationship solid in “safe country” and then take it out into the “thickets of Jordan” and test it. Over time, the horse will recognize and trust in your calm leadership even when things around them are anything but peaceful.   

The same is true of us in our relationship with God.  We will never get rid of all the stress in our lives.  But how we choose to react to it is always in our control.  When we turn our stress over to God we can be at peace, even during times of chaos.  It’s an attitude of “I’m trusting God”, no matter what happens around us. 

Christian author and speaker, Joyce Meyers, describes it like a storm on the water.  On the top of the water you can see the ripples and waves, but down deep under the water, the water is quiet.    Our relationship with the horse can be like that.  On the outside the circumstances that surround us may get crazy but down deep there is peace in the relationship we have worked for and it’s a peace we can rely on.  That’s what connection looks like.

It takes time, focus, and the grace of God to be consistently peaceful.  Invite Christ into your life and ask Him to take your stress and give you peace.  That’s what Easter is all about.  Christ’s life freely given to spare us from our sins and give us the gift of eternal life and His peace. Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)  May you have a blessed, peaceful Easter and spring, in both your human and horse relationships!

“And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)