Connection...What Does it Look Like?

As many of you know, we have addressed the topic of “connection” between horse and handler for years now. Yes, it has evolved over the years, but it is something, to some degree, that I have always done with horses since I was a child. Although I didn’t call it such, my awareness about “connection” started many years ago after an observer asked me, “Why do you blow at your horse?” As with many trainers who have worked with horses their whole lives, I had no idea why I did it. I just did it. And frankly, at the time, I was a little embarrassed that someone noticed that I did it. Since I’m a former Marine and grew up a cowgirl, you can only imagine how it might have seemed a little too “touchy feely” for me. But blowing at my horses was such a part of me, as a horseman, I kept doing it. And after some time of thinking, I concluded that I did it because horses really responded to it and liked it. And I could have simply left it at that. Right?

Wrong! Many of you who know me understand I could never leave it at that. I had to discuss it, analyze it, think about it, talk about it and analyze it some more. Through all of that analyzing, I learned it was more than the physical act of just blowing at the horse and more than just the horse’s emotional response of liking it…much more. It was a recovery time that some of us, as trainers, were unconsciously using to direct the horse’s behavior and to attempt to capture the very best of what the horse had to offer us. We discovered, as many of you have, it is one of the biggest missing components in many horse training programs. It is a component that separates the horseman from someone who just hangs a shingle. By understanding the depth of connection, we started taking it a bit further. We even coined the slogan, “Horsemanship… It’s not about correction… it’s about connection.” By analyzing how we were getting connection, we came to the conclusion that you can’t reach it without expectations. So evolved our formula Trust + Respect = Connection.

During the next few years, while helping clients reach connection with their own horses, we started to feel like we might be missing an important link to teaching it. Clients were not experiencing the level of connection we knew was possible for them and their horses. So last spring at our 3-D Rider™ Mini Clinics, we took “connection” to another level. We felt we needed to help people be more self aware during their horse’s recovery time. I tried to really think about what I do and break it down into some very specific steps for clients to follow. We thought this would help them achieve a better connection with their horses, and we called this a “reward ritual.” After teaching the “reward ritual” in our 3-D Mini Clinic last spring, we were very pleased; we had really made some headway with helping others achieve their desired connection with their horses.

Up until that clinic, we had always assumed that if we taught clients the tools to break down the training, specifically, stress and recovery, striving for a balance of trust and respect, and establishing a “reward ritual” their horses would understand, that the handlers would automatically recognize when they had a connection with their horses. We were apparently wrong! And this is where the clinic at Suzy Epler’s last summer took on a life of its own. One of the participants asked, “What does connection look like anyway?” It was a great question, and the answer has been even another missing link in helping us teach clients what connection is. Connection to so many great horse trainers is a feeling, but as teachers, we understood that if we gave students specific things to look for, they might start to see it and eventually start to feel it. While thinking about this question, we made a list of behaviors to explain what behaviors do not signify connection and what behaviors do signify connection.

Having a “connection” with your horse is a very powerful thing. It brings out the very best in both the horse and the horseman. We feel that having a connection is the most important element for success with your horses. You and your horse will never reach your full potential without it. Here at MM Training and Consulting, we devote one whole section of our 3-D Rider program to this topic. Connection is deeper and a prerequisite to ground training; we call it “underground training.”

In this article, I have given you a little piece of the puzzle by explaining to you what connection “is” and “is not.” But connection is very hard to explain. You cannot read about it and get it. You need to experience it. At MM Training and Consulting, we have the knowledge and experience to help you reach this goal. Reaching a connection with your horse will create a relationship that will take horse ownership to a new level. I promise. I highly encourage you to join us at our 3-D Rider™ Mini Series this spring. And even if you’ve felt the CONNECTION before, I challenge you to up your standards and get an even a deeper connection with your horses. It is possible.